U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize