Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
