we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
