I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
