i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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