Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
