I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
