i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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