All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
