yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Randomize
