You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
