Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize