Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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