i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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