at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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