If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
