OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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