Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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