Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
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