dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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