This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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