If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
