1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
