You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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