i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize