i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
