yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
