i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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