he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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