Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
