David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
People in love make me want to vomit
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize