oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize