im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
