Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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