She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Buhtt sex?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
