You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
What drink are we having for lunch?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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