what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize