Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
