I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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