okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
