Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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