yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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