I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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