another moral hangover. fuck.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
