I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize