I only kidnapped one of them. chill
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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