While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
