I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
