he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
