If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
