When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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