I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
