doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
