Girls should come with a carfax report
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
