Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
