Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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