I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
