I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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