so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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