new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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