OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
