so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it's great music for shaving your balls
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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