so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
