rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
