We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
